As per usual, am writing an entry where I rant about work which I have a love/hate relationship with. Also, have I moved forward in life? It sure feels slow. Maybe I just lack understanding and patience.
Writing about my undeniable obsession with Arashi as of late i.e 이게무슨일이야???
Trying to buy a house at the moment as my family doesn't own one. Won't start paying for the facility until next year so still have time to save money for rainy days. Half of my pay nanti tu. For 25 years ok.
Tbh if it weren'tfor the life of having to rent i.e constantly moving / renewing rental agreement is hard, I won't be buying a house just yet. I have other bills o pay on top of that. Student loan lagi. One should really have a LOT of money ready to use as downpayment especially with how much a simple house can costs you these days. Things are darn expensive now, kan. Damn lansung takmau discount, that developer. But that's okay, hopefully this long-term investment is worth it.
Consider it as a rezeki. Syukur ok, syukur!
ALSO hey, I turned 27, seven days ago! Woohoot. Sometimes I forget about my own age, sungguh, ini selalu terjadi. Popular question that comes with the territory, WAJIBUL GHUNNAH it'll be asked every year; "when are you getting married????" as if the world depend on me getting married in order to circle the sun. Tapi...,
Stressful, as always and as expected. Comes with this line of work, dikatakan. Always feel like,
When in actual, I'm not. /sadface Ke mana hilangnya semua confidence dalam diri? I like to blame the management but maybe I'm just not suited for it, they expect too much from me when it's just me alone doing, dealing, managing everything and am sucking at it. But nah, I'm awesome, cannot be me who's at fault. /bricked
Lost some weight, gained some weight, they always fluctuate. Eh eh, they rhymed pulak.
Lately I was made aware of how unfit my 27yo self is. As if the fat I'm building around my belly and thighs is not good enough of an indication... So I started playing badminton (though, it's only for once a week. haha. Kontrak saya hari Jumaat sajor. Then our sector suddenly showed interest in health so every Thursday, the Corporate Sector's staffs are to join an obligatory 30 to 45-mins work out session with our Head of Division. #FitMalaysia gtew.
I'm not a fan of rigid work out routines so badminton's my fav for now. How I feel after each match
Nowadays cannot stop watching A.RA.SHI okies. From an unattentive and casual fan to watching Himitsu No Arashi-chan, Arashi Ni Shiyagare and VS Arashi diligently, I swear I am reaching Oshima-san's level. I know Oshima-san. That says something. That I am now officially a Jun fan. I am now a part of that circle.
Oshima Miyuki-desu >>
Last night I saw an episode where a female guest mentioned that there's a rumor about Jun's "strong man power" and I just--
then I was like
Kpop would never allow this, on national tv some more. Gilo ar. Although, adik Gongchan kan pernah sewel dulu...Oh biases, good job sangat to you all
Favourite new shows include:
How To Get Away With Murder - this got tired so fast, though stay watching purely for the ever amazing viola davis!! Misaeng - one of the best realistic drama I've seen. Treasure. Every Arashi varieties ever especially the ones where Jun and/or Sho failed miserably. Padan muka. Sore loser betul. I find him extremely hot in that hawaii clip when he's in serious mode planning for Arashi's concert wei. Perfectionist amat!
It started with me waiting for the three of you at this one building somewhere. Suddenly Shim Changmin, yes that Changmin came out from the door of the building across the street, dancing, with a guy. Then aku pelikla "Changmin??" Then I look up the building, I see Yunho teaching some choreography to a group of trainees. Random. haha
Mungkin kita dekat korea, tapi aku tak rasa tempat tu macam korea pun. haha
Then you guys finally got there when out of nowhere the SuJu guys datang pastu sibuk la minah2 nak bergambar dengan mereka kan. Beofre that, unni teriak nama "Changmin ah!!" then budak tu angkat tangan and senyum kat dia. lol
So Suju take pictures with the minah2, ada fountain pulak tu kat tengah2. lol. All 4 of us pun join sekali kerana unni nak ambik gambar dengan Kangin. Ada Kangin, Shindong, Sungmin, Eunhyuk, Ryeowook, Heechul and ofc abang Donghae kat situ. Can't recall if Siwon was there too, Syd. hehe.
After the group pictures, comes the individual pulak kan. So I asked Donghae if he wants to take a picture with me, he agreed tapi minah2 lain ramai pulak yang menyibuk kat situ so aku bengang ar tapi since I'm cool, tak mengapa, aku biarkan saja.
aku tak ingat sangat apa jadi. Tapi !!!!!!!
To cut story short, kita semua pegi makan dengan Suju then aku berjalan bersama Donghae and he gave me a kiss on the cheek. Twice.
Then I died.
Next morning, I woke up in this wood cabin room Syd and I supposedly share (btw I noticed Syd is not pregnant in this scene, she's suddenly single here...? mungkin kerana time kami minat suju dulu, dia masih single mingle lol)
Pastu I told her about what happened with Donghae and she and I spazzed for a while then I got a call from Donghae.
We went for a jog and the dream ended with us jogging together.
I don't know where unni and farid went after dinner tu. hahah
The time I spent and how I've lived my past three days trying to finish a sudden and extremely urgent assignment at the Office. Together with about 6 other people.
And we all shared the same "zombified" feeling today.
I haven't felt this way for a while, since I quit practicing which is a more than a year ago. It brings back memories during uni, though; the worse feeling having to stay up all night or have to wake up very early in the morning to finish an assignment. Especially because / I / like to do my assignments and studies at the very last minute. LOL
And the next day during class, my body and brain would feel, I don't know how to explain it, but it's like the feeling of being aware of what's happening but empty and soulless inside. hahaa Not to mention eyes looking like a panda :-
[ZomPandafied & cutiepie Gongchan]But I am always lucky in the sense the last-minute works I do are almost always acceptable. Sometimes undeservingly because myself in particular should've work harder on it and I pass really based on my skill to "goreng" (manipulating? idk how to translate this to english. hee) only when the others put more efforts on it.
Anyway enough about that.
My eyes hurts and I wish I could sleep right now that we're done with the presentation for today. The presentation will continue next week (and on my birthday! :( Waeee!)
At least I'll be sleeping better tonight. Channie you should come to noona's dream, juseyo. haha
Aku menyampah kat budak Gongchan ni tau. Why so cute. Rasa nak lempang saja. Just nak cakap I love how Gongchan has one double eyelid and one monolid eye. Memang comellll Evidence of Gongchan's kecomelan + mintak lempang :-
It's strange how someone can hate another so much they would do anything to ruin that person's life / see that person go down.
It's strange when some friendships and relationships feels like a burden than as a source of joy.
It's strange how to survive, we have to fake our feelings and actions, just so we can keep our source of income. So we can continue living, cause we can't live without money.
[I am a stranger to maself]I have to say I am quite a vengeful person. I remember all the bad and all the good people that I meet throughout my life had given me. I keep grudges. However, I never acted on any. Simply because I think it's a waste of time and I have better things to do with my time, with my life. But I still keep everything in my memory. I still remember. I'll always remember.
I want to find love. Love as in a relationship; boyfriend girlfriend, husband wife - type of love. But I don't want it to happen now. I'm not sure if it's because I'm not ready or am I scared? I really don't know. I just don't feel like I am interested to be in love, now. I want a baby, so bad, though. lol
I sometimes think a part of me wants to be bad. I want to be rude, mean, cruel to people and do evil things. But I feel being a bad person doesn't benefit me in any form or way in my life. So, I'll stick to being a good person /for now/ hehee. I don't hurt people, people won't hurt me.
I want to find happiness. But what is happiness, anyway? Maybe I should accept things the way they are and be grateful. But I shouldn't settle for less when I can have and deserve more, right? Right!
I honestly feel I am still trying to find my way. Or maybe I'm finding myself.
I don't know what I'm trying to say. haha..ha.. /shrug
So, a song called "Wolf" has leaked right, and it is rumored to be the comeback song for my beloved most awkward most embarrassing bunch of aliens, EXO.
The song is genius! A work of art! I mean, just take a look at the lyrics! HERE
And these are my thoughts on it (they're the things I tweeted, actually, haha):-
"I’ll take you in one mouthful like cheese." Okay, I like cheese.
"Ah, but the strength in my toenail weakens, so my appetite yeah is gone." How did the toenail get hurt that it's now suddenly weakened?
"Hey do it in a style you’ve never tried. Before the big full moon comes out, do away with it." Can I guess what happens when the moons comes out? Can I?
Pfffffffft at this line. "The hidden thing within me has opened its eyes now."
"I am only a healthy offering/sacrifice." I'll make sure I make good use of each and every part, none will go to waste. I promise. Now howl.
"The owner who’s to pull out all of my teeth" No, you don't want that. Toothless is unattractive. And useless.
"That yellow moon teases me, that I can’t have you. ‘But you’re only a rough beast.’ If you’re going to say that kind of thing, get lost." First of all, I've never seen a yellow moon before. But then again, I'm from Earth. You are supposedly from a new planet. Maybe that's why. Secondly, please, you can't handle a little comment? We both like cheese, that's what matters the most.
12 boys howling, gotta love that.
Sekian, terima kasih.
AWOOOOOOOOOOOooooo... CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR KRIS RAPS TO THIS SONG! LMAO
Welcome to another edition of my dream journal. lol Seriously, what else do I use this journal for but to keep track of my random-est craziest dreams.
This dream happens last night (which is 19-20 Dec, 2012--> just to remind myself how I am writing this a few hours before the day the world supposed to end which is just a stupid speculation and I can't wait for all the "I survived!" youtube videos and 9gag posts.)
Anyhoo back to my stupid dream.
Warning : Read this at your own risk. I will not be held responsible for any kinds of damage that might occur to your mind, body and/or soul as a result of reading this.
[SPARKLING VAMPIRES INSIDE YO]So I was at my grandpa's house at Kampung Panglima Seman right, with Robert Pattinson (I think that's how you spell it) and apparently we're koibito so-in-love lovers (vomits) and eww we kissed and stufflike no, thank you. yuck. Suddenly there was a commotion outside and we saw KStew and Jacob running around and doing something I can't remember what but Rob grabbed my hand and we started running for our lives. This is going to sound extremely ridiculous as (if you haven't guessed it by now) they're looking for us to separate us bla bla Kstew wants to get back with Rob and Jacob's helping her with the plan and obviously they want to get rid of me. lol.
So Rob and I somehow got to a theme park in Thailand and being all lovey-dovey while discussing which ride/games at the park we want to play when Kristen and Jacob came to us saying they want to talk to us bla bla bla typical stupid stuff I don't care/know/remember.
Then all 4 of us decided to get something to eat (I think it was lunch time) when wal la! guess who I saw eating at one of the restaurants?
I think she was having this fancy and tasty-looking toast with eggs and some other stuff and she recommended me to get food from this one restaurant which later on was suddenly located somewhere in Europe, which is where we all were at next. Like, whatever happened to Thailand? How did we get here? WTF haha
So we all 5 of us chatted for a while and as I was trying to decide what to order, one of the waiter tried to pick fights with me and we all ended up having food fight in the restaurant which reminds me of Mean Girls, haha. (A side note: The restaurant looked like they had sailor's themes which is cute.)
Then I was suddenly back at my own house with Rob, where in the middle of a room in the house, my religious step-father sat, waiting for us.
And he asked me "Who is this man? What is his name?"
And I stuttered while telling him Rob's name. "Rob...Robi.."
I said his name was "Robinston".
I stuttered because I forgot his full/real name....
and he was like "Awww baby how could you not know my name". "I forgot..."
And then I woke up. LOL WTF!! I would like to believe nothing more had happened after that scene because my step-father would've objected to our relationship.
Feeling obliged to write something about this awesome video.
Because it made me totally excited and happy and giddy.
Because it brought back memories~~~~
Jin and the gang did a good job here. Re-enacting and describing the school-life of those who grew up in the 90s perfectly!
I can totally relate to that childhood when kids don't rely on technology/gadgets to entertain themselves.
I really really enjoyed my childhood. I played every games shown in the above video, was crazy on getting people's biography in to my book and would feel extra proud when people ask me to write in them, ah! Those were good times.
Actually the biography thing continued to be a popular thing till middle-school. Or at least during MY time of middle-school.
And omg! that pencil with never-ending tips/bullets? (at that time, it was the best pencil one can possess,lol) I have to find and buy myself not one, not two but a lifetime supply of it. /overreacting
Also, heck yeah to the fact we were the last generation to survive a childhood without mobile phones or the internet!
Damn, we were awesome.
I miss you, my childhood.
You'll always be an important part of me.
p/s: Totally lol-ed at the "The Moffatts" cd part. Was a big fan. Here's a shout-out to you, Bob. My 9/10-year-old self was really in love with you. (It was probably cause of the long hair, ahah!)
Is bored at the office and decided to write about one of my weirdest dreams so far.
It started with me, in a white car with Farid, Ein and Syd (of course these 3 la kan,hahah!).
[I HAVE A FLYING LICENSE] I convinced them to let me drive the car (sounds familiar? yeah...), and I think we were on our way to the mall or something, and that was proven to be a bad decision because well, I crashed it. No surprise there, really.
Here comes the weird part.
Nobody freaked out.
Instead, the four of us just laughed our heads off, like this was no big deal. Small matter. Will get fixed in no time.
Enter scene with Awal Ashaari (not sure how to spell the dude's name, not really a fan of his), looking at the four of us with mad eyes, ready to explode any moment. Then he pulled me aside and scolded the others for letting me drive when everybody knew I don't have a driving license, yada yada the usual stuff.
And then he took me to a house, him suddenly dressed in baju melayu and oh! the reason why he got so mad earlier was because it was the day where we were supposed to get engage (!!!!)
I froze there like a (beautiful gorgeous amazing) statue, wondering why, what on earth is happening here, when someone I know called out my name.
It was one of my seniors in uni, kak S who came with her husband (but in this dream her husband was another guy - another senior's, kak D's husband! dun dun dun!). She congratulated me but then I quickly ask her if they could get me out of that place. So we drove off, Awal saw us and he went apeshit.
Then I woke up.
Like, what the F, dream? That was...weird. Not even a fan of the guy. Never cared about him, don't wanna care about him. And the ending...
I was and is still confused.
And like, why the hell was I out with my girls, to the mall on my own engagement day?